The hurricane has passed and so has my minor meltdown.
The pantry is stocked, my laundry is done, I finally baked some bread and managed to interview three office assistants in the space of an hour and a half.
I was late for the interview, my house is still a mess, I set off the smoke alarm at 6 am baking the bread and the applesauce went to the chickens instead of the larder.
No small children died. The sky did not fall.
As I talked through my lapse of sanity with my hubby, I told him –
I’m not looking for perfection. I don’t want to be a super mom. But I don’t feel like I’m doing my best at anything in my life right now.
Maybe this is your best right now.
On one hand I thought – Well that kind of sucks. On the other hand I thought – PHEWPH.
I can stop feeling guilty?
He is a very practical man. He spends his day solving problems, all day, every day. Building houses has taught him that sometimes you have to just start where you are with the parts that you know. Once you get moving, the parts that seemed unclear or confusing will become obvious as you go.
Like a giant jigsaw puzzle; things that seem impossible now will become possible later.
I dumped the chicken waterer all over myself this morning for the third morning in a row, and managed to break it in the process.
It was a sign.
I said, Bugger It, went down to the co-op and picked up a waterer that doesn’t require so much manual dexterity so early in the morning.
Sometimes you’ve just got to accept where you’re at.